Here's doing a commercial with you, kid

True story

I wrote a television commercial that was dying a death by a thousand cuts - a thousand meetings, a thousand opinions, a thousand egos and one focus group.

Too bad.  The original spot was good.  The big idea, as they say in the advertising business.  Or was that on Mad Men?

Death by a thousand cuts is pretty common.  It’s one of the reasons so many commercials you see are total crab.  That’s right, crab.  Crap is a no-no.  

Death by a thousand cuts is a problem whenever people don't want to look for the good in something.  When it's safer and easier to say I like it but... Or, I applaud your effort but...

I needed to try and resuscitate the spot.  Bring it back to life and make it fit for the living room. 

It needed help. Is there a doctor in the house?

Better music?  The music was pretty good.  Quick cuts? Even in the age of lightning fast cuts, these scenes couldn't go by fast enough. Celebrity announcer?  Now you’re talking. 

Too many times, creating advertising isn’t about creating but about solving a man-made problem.  Putting out a political fire. And, unfortunately, using the brand to do it.

Enter: Lauren Bacall 

She was nice enough to come in and do a reading.  She didn’t need to do that.  Thanks again, Ms. Bacall.

A couple of people told me she was tough.  But you hear that a lot.  Someone has a point of view... they're tough.  someone is better than everyone else... tough.

I stupidly asked Ms. Bacall if she could warm up her reading a bit. 

“Warm it up?  Why?  Oh, you just want some stupid commercial?

  

I was telling Ms. Bacall – with that one in a million, sultry voice that launched a thousand ships – not to do what she does better than anyone...launch a thousand ships  I was asking Lauren Bacall not to be Lauren Becall.

She's right I'm an idiot.

She knows what’s good.  She knows what works.  Her taste is as exquisite as everything else about her.

The problem was that now she's mad...at me.

There was a line about a statue. It began, 'The lady in the water'.

She started to read the line.  I don't remember if she stopped after the 'the', or, in the middle of  la-dy.

“You”

“Me?” 

“Yes. You. Why lady?  Why don’t you just say statue?” 

“Because lady is warmer.”  True - but there was that word again, warm.  And I used it on purpose.  Who's the prima donna?


She knew lady was the way to go.  She knew it all along.  She smiled at me.  Lauren Bacall smiled at me.  Went on to read the rest of the spot and did a great job.  

Saved by the Bacall.

An 8½” by 11” envelope arrives at the office.  I open it.  It’s a black and white photo of Lauren Bacall.  It was that signature look of hers.  And it was signed.  Her signature, signature in Bacall point pen across the bottom.

To John, “Mr. Warmth” – Lauren Bacall

Pretty doggone warm.  ‘Put your lips together and blow’ warm.